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prokopetz:

“What? Dude, no, you can’t talk to the reader - the narrator-slash-protagonist shtick is kind of my thing. Only I get to talk to the reader.”

“What the hell are you talking about? I’m the protagonist.”

“Bullshit.”

“There’s three books and a movie with my name in the title - I’m pretty sure.“

“Don’t you mean five books and a web series?“

It was then that they realised something was terribly amiss.

“Hold up - who the fuck was that?”

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Schweinderl